therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i've created a new STD.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize