worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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