nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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