Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
