She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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