New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
