do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
