Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
