thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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