his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
