Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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