I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
