i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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