no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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