My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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