it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
