1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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