Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
