I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
