GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize