Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
