I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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