Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
