The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
