just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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