Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
