No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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