Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we're making bets on your personal life
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize