i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
