Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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