yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
