he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
