Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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