I just saw a hot homeless man
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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