Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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