We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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