I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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