apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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