I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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