i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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