Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
where am i from again
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
