I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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