And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
