next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
