girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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