the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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