Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Vodka?
Forever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
