I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
