Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
