As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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