If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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