yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
two words...techno handjob
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
