okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
