just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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