Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
