you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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