dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
