bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize