he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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