Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
