I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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