i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
