I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
